Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize