Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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