After last night, I could never be a politician.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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