week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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