i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
