I cockslap morals
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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