he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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