We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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