I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
