dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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