At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize