They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
