Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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