I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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