I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
