We won't sleep together?
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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