Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
