fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Pants are for mortals
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
