Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
