I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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