Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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