Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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