the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
