is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
