I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize