remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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