You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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