areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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