3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
