That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
