That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize