foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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