yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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