She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
