The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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