why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
