Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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