Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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