Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
