Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize