you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
