Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
