you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
