I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
