we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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