the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she told me i tasted like america
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
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