I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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