is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
