People with herpes should wear stickers.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
