At least make sure they are 18
Why
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
