I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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