yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
