I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
