yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
