You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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