No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize