I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
50% drunk capacity currently
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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