I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
