she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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