I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
