GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
