haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize