Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
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