Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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