you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
